Teeny Tiny Chickens

Hi Kara,

h0G8PFN

A teeny tiny chicken. Who is cold.

I currently have teeny tiny chickens. Two weeks ago I had regular tiny chickens, but then I got a tiny tumor thing cut off the back of my mouth, and my body said “fuck those tiny chickens, SHE’S EXPERIENCING PAIN IN HER MOUTH AND SHE CAN’T HAVE COOKIES,” which is my body’s version of CODE RED.

So then I went to your house. Ludo preformed a seance on me and the microscopic tiny chickens, that had been lurking in my head for two weeks, decided to become massive evil tinychickens of death. They attacked my nose and my lungs and my ears and my ability to LIVE OR LOVE OR EXPERIENCE JOY.

So here are the things that have sparked the will to live in me and gave me hope for a brighter future.

Puffs Plus Lotion:

Kara, get these. If my nose so much as looks at another facial tissue, it becomes red and crusty. Which is what happened.

Trader Joes Salve of the Gods

Beyond saving my nose, this stuff has also saved my hands this winter. The skin on the sides of my hand (south of my pinky) cracks and bleeds. I put this on my hands before bed and my hands have been so pretty and soft. And it could be because I was preventative this year, but my nose looked a lot worse than my hands do and it cleared it up in two days. Plus, I get to scream I’VE GOT SALVE and chase Andrew around every night before bed.

Happy Drugs from the Happy Doctor

Sinus infections suck and so do possible ear infections because of your(my) already damaged ear drums.

Humidifier (or a pan on high heat boiling water continuously for hours)(yes, mom I was careful)(No, I didn’t burn the house down, obviously)(Stop, alright, Andrew bought me a real one because he didn’t want to CLR the pans anymore)

Andrew walked into the entryway after work and couldn’t breathe because I’d made it so moist. I really like moist air. And moist other things. Like cakes.

And lastly, Many, Many Blankets.

I’m currently under two with my laptop on top. And MacBooks are legendary for their crotch burning.

My hopes for the future (she says on her death bed), is that tomorrow I can pop both ears, I have fewer coughs that get up more tiny chickens, and my snot is crystal clear.

I would post pictures, but I’ve just taken my NyQuil. So all is lost.

To the furthest star and back,

 

P.S. You’re correct. No one has the ability to be as melodramatic as I am about colds.

P.P.S. I’m so melodramatic about colds, in fact, that I didn’t even mention my wedding in less than a week. My brain has one focus, and that is to focus on my imminent death via tiny chickens.

My Life Looks Like This

Happy Tuesday Steffi! I know you are not feeling well and this is a most inopportune time to have tiny chickens in your brain, but it could be worse! At least you have 9 whole days to get better.

I don’t have anything prepared for today, but I thought you’d like some pictures from the past couple of weeks of my life.

We went to Tucson Comicon and I looked like this:
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We met Kiba the cosplaying corgi and she looked like this:
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Ludo graduated puppy school and he looked like this:
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Our friend Kim goes to class also with her dog, Mason. He looks like this:
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(PS Mason no longer has balls and he looks like this:)
post-10040-I-do-not-like-the-cone-of-sham-XbwM

Grayson took me to a Bengals game and we looked like this:
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Our view of the field looked like this:
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Next week we will look like this:
louis excited

PS You still have to do your 1/2 punishment. I love you BYE!

I Tried Quilling

Hi Steffi, I wanted to film a fun video for you this weekend, but it starting raining and it was the perfect excuse not to do it. So I stayed inside and did some fun crafts instead. This is also one of my 101 in 1001 goals: try quilling!

Quilling is just making art out of twirling thin strips of paper. It’s easy, but tedious. It was relaxing for me, but I imagine anyone with no patience or small fingers wouldn’t enjoy it too much.

IMG_3153I’ve had this ‘how-to’ book for a long time and it included everything I needed except pins and cardboard which was just recommended.

IMG_3154You have to put one end of the sliver of paper through a slot in the tool. Then you evenly twirl the paper until you reach the end. If you wanted a tight curl, you glued the end right as you slide it off the tool. If you wanted a loose curl, you slid it off and then let it unravel itself before gluing the end down.

IMG_3155Here’s some sea creatures I made! You basically just make a bunch of spirals with different lengths of paper and shape them how you want. Each piece needs no more than a speck of glue, you can never use too little.

 

IMG_3156And birds! The owl’s eyes are strips of black and yellow glued together and twirled into a tight curl.

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#prayforparis

Kara, I’m sad.

I don’t have the right words to say how I feel about Paris. Nothing is okay.

I have a hard time not falling into a deep pit of despair on the condition of the world when events like these take place. I hope with everything I’m made of that we’re able to make this world a better place, and I’m equally, if not more, horrified that we won’t be able to do anything at all.

My heart sends all it can to the people of Paris, to the nation of France, and to those who have lost.

The New York Times has a live stream that’s being constantly updated, and coverage of Paris is unlimited to those who don’t have a subscription. You can check the link here: http://www.nytimes.com/live/paris-attacks-live-updates/

My heart is heavy.

To our wonderful friend, Katie: I’m so grateful that your honeymoon hasn’t begun just yet. ❤

I am bad at things.

Hi Steffi, remember when I did a post about how I don’t adult well? This is sort of I Don’t Adult part two. I am so bad at things.

  1. I can’t be messy. A messy kitchen and clothes all over the floor make me anxious and I get cranky. I wish I would just relax and let it be sometimes!
  2. I don’t like talking to strangers. We went to get my car fixed and I didn’t want to talk to the person at the counter so I just handed him the keys and waited for Grayson to speak. I said, “You talk,” and the counter person said “You’re giving me a free truck?” Grayson laughed and thank god he started speaking.
  3. I do embarrassing things on accident. I bought someone’s coffee behind me in the drivethrough. The barista handed me my drink and then took my card. He gave my card back while holding the next person’s drink in his hand. Then I accidentally tried to take the other coffee. He stared at me weird and just said, “You already got yours.” I really think he thought I was trying to take their drink. So much for that good deed feeling.
  4. I can’t talk on the phone. Not only do I not like to, but I also stutter, talk over the other person and repeat myself. A lot of times I realize these things are happening, lose my train of thought and then stop completing sentences completely.

Can I just stay home with my yarn for the rest of my life so I don’t have these kinds of encounters? KTHX.

Reviews of ~*~things

Hi Kara,

Here are some things!

I went to see the Book of Mormon on Tuesday. It was easily one of the best musicals I’ve ever seen in my life. The cast was incredible – they were so completely into it – and the audience was undeniably nerdy. There are parts of the musical that only nerds would understand and I felt very MY PEOPLE while there. It was magical. Andrew loved it too. We have been singing bits of the musical to each other since Tuesday and I don’t know when it will stop. And this is what I wore!

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Tuesday was also the official start of the month long countdown to my wedding. Um. Remember when I started planning this thing like.. Two years ago. How is it so close? We’re going to pick out Andrew’s “suit” this weekend and I’m super excited.

Lastly, I finished Tyler’s book, Binge. It was really good. I couldn’t believe how raw and honest some sections were. It was very eye opening and I can’t wait for you to start reading it!

I have to read three more books before I double the number of books I read last year and I think I can do it!

I will get to work on my punishment next week. I just need to find a photo contest that isn’t dumb.

To the furthest star and back!