Hi Keddah, 

I just got back from my Disneyland trip. It was uncomfortably busy for a Thursday but we got our pictures taken for our engagement shoot at park opening so I think some wonderful shots will be taken. 

I am exhausted, so this post probably won’t make sense but DISNEYLAND. 


Also, here is an undoctored picture of the new and improved castle! 


The diamonds are tacky and plastic looking and they removed our owl so all and all I’m unimpressed. 


To the furthest star and back,

Coming Out of Hibernation – 30 Day Yoga Challenge

Hi Steffiiiiiiiiililili.

I haven’t worked out in 4 months! I took a hibernation break or something. Don’t judge me. Three things happened to me recently that I’m realizing now were slaps in the face to wake me up.

Thing #1.
wpid-20150221_165413.jpgGrayson got my yoga room all ready. I kept saying I couldn’t do yoga without a hard floor and I didn’t feel like going to class. Well now I have no excuse.

Thing #2.
I found my favorite yoga pants. I thought I lost them! Last time I was missing clothing it was mingled in with Grayson’s stuff, but I couldn’t find them anywhere. Well I guess I hadn’t looked in my work out clothes drawer because they were RIGHT THERE.

Thing #3.
DoYouYoga.com sent me an email about a 30-day yoga challenge starting on April 1st. It’s for beginners, but it should be good for me since I’m all rusty and not flexible. Putchoyogapantson and do it with me! It’s free and you can do it at home and it looks like they will only be about 30 minutes. I’ve done a few classes and another challenge on this website before; I signed up for a lifetime membership when they first launched. I’m going to try to keep up on my profile over there so I can track my progress. Also, I have no friends over there -_- wahhh.

How are you coming out of hibernation this spring?


Daily “Makeup” Routine

Hi Kara,

I started really getting into makeup right around the time you and I did the Disney College Program. That was when I started buying more expensive makeup and getting an interest into it beyond tinted moisturizer and mascara. From that point on, I never really felt comfortable leaving my house or seeing people without a “full face of makeup.” Now, my idea of a “full face” has never been full coverage makeup – but since, let’s say, 2010 I’ve sported a light/medium “full face” of makeup every single day (by that I mean the works: foundation, powder, blush, eye makeup, etc).

Not. Any. More.

Ever since I started getting acne, I started wearing less and less makeup. I guess I knew that although my acne was not caused by my makeup – that adding product on top certainly wasn’t going to make the problem any better. I can now say that, not only am I comfortable wearing little to no makeup, but that I feel most like myself with less. (Now, girl, do not get me wrong. If a camera is there then my makeup is going to be ON. POINT. Believe.)

So, without further ado, here is my everyday makeup routine!

before and after

First picture: Dear sweet lord baby jesus you have to be freaking kidding me acne cream, and moisturizer.

Second picture: corrective eye cream, under eye concealer, mascara and lipgloss.

Here are the products I use:


First three are skin care, and the last three are makeup. Easy peasy! Hope you enjoyed!

To the furthest star and back,

National Eating Disorders Awareness Week and Self Love Progress

Hello Keddah,

It’s National Eating Disorders Awareness Week! So I thought I would talk about my self-love progress/kicking my eating disorder in the ass, punching it square in the face, stomping it into the ground, drop-kicking it to Mars.

Learning to workout for me:

Let me tell the internet an embarrassing story (because I’ve already told it to Kara – that’s what besties do). In early January, something strange happened to me. When getting up into my bed (which is tall, alright, so there’s already a struggle level that’s higher than most beds), My. Wrist. Gave. Out. And although I act like I’m in my 80’s – I AM NOT IN FACT THERE YET. So when this happened the second time, I IMMEDIATELY VOWED to sign up for a gym and go. And I have!

Since the last week in January, I’ve gone to the gym at least 3 times a week (no more than 4). I’ve been enjoying it a lot! I don’t do a lot of cardio – because that shit sucks – but I’ve been doing kind of a mixture of everything and I’m enjoying myself. My goals are: being able to kick someones ass, a bigger butt (because we all have some narcissistic goals in life), and more flexibility. And when Andrew and I go on our month-long honeymoon in 2016 – I NEVER want my body to get in the way of me doing something awesome.

Additionally, I do not weigh myself. Because it doesn’t matter. Because it’s a huge trigger for negative behaviors. Because I still think a number on a scale has something to do with worth. And I’m not gonna ruin my good time.

Negative relationships with food:

I started asking myself when I eat: Are you enjoying your food? I haven’t gotten to the point where this stops me from binge eating – but at least I recognize it during and not after and I think that is a great starting point! I hope that soon I will be able to stop when I notice this behavior or even notice it before it starts and channel it into something healthier.

I would like to start removing certain things from my diet – mostly premade sweets like nutella/ice cream/cookies that you buy from the store. Instead – if I want something sweet – I need to make it myself. I’m thinking that once my current sweet stash is done that I will start making my own goodies.

I would also like to add more protein to my diet. Andrew just started making us the most delicious noodle soup with sprouted tofu, veggie broth, spinach, carrots, and green onions – and I could literally eat this every night for the rest of my life – so I don’t think it will be difficult!

Feeling myself:

Don’t get gross – HEAD OUT OF THE GUTTER, KARA – I just mean that when I’m feeling cute, I celebrate it. And everyone should. If that means taking a killer selfie, sending your man/lady a sexy picture, or walking around in the buff – you do you!

I’m disappointed to report that No-Pants Weekends cannot happen in the cold due to the possibility of hypothermia. I really don’t know of any cold weather underwear sports – but if you have any suggestions that don’t have anything to do with hankypanky – suggest away!

Negative people/Getting out of my head:

This comes in two parts. 1) Removing negative people from my life causes me less stress, and less stress means less binge eating/negative thoughts. 2) Stop caring about people who don’t matter. That guy/girl over there – he’s not thinking about me in my dress with no sleeves on. And if he is and it’s negative, what do I care? And if it is and it’s positive – you’re really cute, imaginary guy/girl, but I’m taken. Just stop. Getting out of my head isn’t just important to my mental health, but I enjoy everything more when I just live.

Asking for help:

I was really nervous for my appointment picking out dresses for the wedding. I’ve seen Say Yes to the Dress enough times to know that it’s not always a wonderful experience, especially for plus size women/women with body dysmorphia/self-hate. So I asked Kara to be on “make sure my best friend doesn’t have any negative thoughts about her body duty” (literally – those were my exact words), and I’m proud of myself for asking.

And the best part is, she wasn’t even needed in that capacity, because not only was the dress beautiful, but I felt beautiful with or without the dress. And I’m so proud of myself.

To a beautiful, healthy, wonderful 26th year of life!


Get it.