Pasta of the Gods

Hello Keddah,

First: this post is about food but

Second: story time. Once upon a time, infant, baby, small Steffi went to Pennsylvania to visit her Aunt : the ORIGINAL Aunt Steffi (to whom I will never live up to but have fun trying because seriously goddess doesn’t begin to describe my aunt). So she made me the dish I am about to make and I DIED. It featured these fancy Italian tuna filets in oil IN A GLASS JAR. And I searched. And I searched. And I COULDN’T FIND THEM. I was heart broken and devastated. Until the other day! These fuckers are at Sprouts!! So I picked me up some, frantically called my Aunt and she gave me the recipe. And she graciously (literally grace oozes out of this woman – when I say gracefully I mean gracefully) allowed me to post the recipe!

So – I’ll tell you what you need as we go because I’m incapable of planning ahead. (Or I’ll post it at the bottom?) (and fuck if I’m editing these pictures)


Large saucepan with flat raised edges – this one is from All-Clad

Take your tuna filets and pour the oil out of one into the sauce pan and heat it up.

Smash the shit out of a ton of garlic and heat it up. The more garlic you use, the more Italian you are.

Open a can of tomatoes – the kind I tell you to get at the bottom cuz they’re superior – reach into the can, grab a tomato with your actual hands, not your figurative ones, and give them a good squeeze. Get all those juices out. It feels good.

Put it in and let simmer for as long as you can handle. We have no time frame at all because we’re heathens. Add pepper.

Tell Harvey for the billionth time that there are no Keetins Allowed In The Keetchen. He won’t listen.

Bubbly reduced deliciousness. Start the pasta about now.

Add the tuna (minus any oil) and capers.

Once the pasta is almost done cooking – add the flat leaf parsley. Leave a sprinkling for the pretty garnish.

Take some of that pasta water and add it to the sauce. This is why we didn’t add salt – this should be enough because your pasta water BETTER TASTE LIKE THE GODDAMN OCEAN.

Add your pasta to the pan! Now, if you cooked your pasta an ounce over al dente, I will end you.

Look at this! It’s delicious! Yum!

Recipe below and let me know if you give this a try! ❤

  • 1 lb of Linguini
  • Olive oil
  • Garlic (as many as you can handle)
  • Cento Peeled Tomatoes, Italian Style (can use two cans if you want it a bit saucier)
  • TonNino Tuna in oil with oregano
  • Capers
  • Flat leaf parsley
  • Salt and pepper

Cold Brew (part deux)

Good morning Keddahbean!
This is a continuation of my last post (which can be viewed here).

So first thing : clean your goddamn kitchen. It’s Sunday morning – you have no excuses.

Strain out the chunky bits in a normal strainer.


Do not throw out these wonderful coffee grounds like we do. We are filth. You can be better. Use them as a coffee scrub for your body or put them in a composter. I have faith in you.

Stain with a paper towel!

Put it in a despenser of your choice (an unused Britta, in our case) and you will have delicious iced coffee for up to three weeks!

My favorite way to drink it is with sweetened condensed milk hhhhng. But for now, I will be enjoying it with some delicious almond milk!

I hope you try this out!

Cold Brew

Keddahbean (heh heh it’s a post about coffee. Beans),

This post comes to you in two parts. Literally two parts. Because I can’t plan ahead. 

First part : POUR ME ANOTHER BREW SON let’s raise a couple more to the revolution (Hamilton reference #1)

12 oz can – 6 L tub

This is all you need. This – and a straining utensil. Don’t be a dip like Andrew and me – go out and buy cheese cloth and drape that over your strainer. Don’t pour it through your coffee pot like we do.

Pour the grounds into the container.

Fill with water and then wait for part two. (Which means overnight).

❤ See you tomorrow AM!


Hi Keddahbean and cheese,

I didn’t know what to post today – so thank you for suggesting that I post my ramen recipe! 

Andrew and I have been eating this a ton lately. It’s so cheap and delicious and you could make it in a million ways.

Start by boiling a broth of your choice, we use Veggie Broth, and get it to a boil. While it’s getting hot – chop your veggies. We typically use cabbage, carrots, green onions and spinach. Chop the tofu too (I wouldn’t know what to do if you were using real meat but you could easily omit tofu if you don’t like it). Once it’s boiling – put in your packet of ramen for two minutes. Season your broth with black pepper, garlic powder and chili flakes.

At the two minute mark, throw in all your veggies and cook for a minute to a minute and a half more.  

Pour into a giant bowl, add some soy sauce to taste and Viola! Delicious! 



Ps I don’t know what page of my book I’m on but I haven’t read any since I left your house. I read some Sunday with you, but not much. I’ll be better this week – promise!