Pasta of the Gods

Hello Keddah,

First: this post is about food but

Second: story time. Once upon a time, infant, baby, small Steffi went to Pennsylvania to visit her Aunt : the ORIGINAL Aunt Steffi (to whom I will never live up to but have fun trying because seriously goddess doesn’t begin to describe my aunt). So she made me the dish I am about to make and I DIED. It featured these fancy Italian tuna filets in oil IN A GLASS JAR. And I searched. And I searched. And I COULDN’T FIND THEM. I was heart broken and devastated. Until the other day! These fuckers are at Sprouts!! So I picked me up some, frantically called my Aunt and she gave me the recipe. And she graciously (literally grace oozes out of this woman – when I say gracefully I mean gracefully) allowed me to post the recipe!

So – I’ll tell you what you need as we go because I’m incapable of planning ahead. (Or I’ll post it at the bottom?) (and fuck if I’m editing these pictures)


Large saucepan with flat raised edges – this one is from All-Clad

Take your tuna filets and pour the oil out of one into the sauce pan and heat it up.

Smash the shit out of a ton of garlic and heat it up. The more garlic you use, the more Italian you are.

Open a can of tomatoes – the kind I tell you to get at the bottom cuz they’re superior – reach into the can, grab a tomato with your actual hands, not your figurative ones, and give them a good squeeze. Get all those juices out. It feels good.

Put it in and let simmer for as long as you can handle. We have no time frame at all because we’re heathens. Add pepper.

Tell Harvey for the billionth time that there are no Keetins Allowed In The Keetchen. He won’t listen.

Bubbly reduced deliciousness. Start the pasta about now.

Add the tuna (minus any oil) and capers.

Once the pasta is almost done cooking – add the flat leaf parsley. Leave a sprinkling for the pretty garnish.

Take some of that pasta water and add it to the sauce. This is why we didn’t add salt – this should be enough because your pasta water BETTER TASTE LIKE THE GODDAMN OCEAN.

Add your pasta to the pan! Now, if you cooked your pasta an ounce over al dente, I will end you.

Look at this! It’s delicious! Yum!

Recipe below and let me know if you give this a try! ❤

  • 1 lb of Linguini
  • Olive oil
  • Garlic (as many as you can handle)
  • Cento Peeled Tomatoes, Italian Style (can use two cans if you want it a bit saucier)
  • TonNino Tuna in oil with oregano
  • Capers
  • Flat leaf parsley
  • Salt and pepper